Thursday, June 19, 2008

More of the Story

Being prepped for a Cesarean is something I was definitely familiar with. It was a given with each pregnancy due to certain complications. I was prepared for the nerves, most likely the vomiting, the sting of the amniocentesis, the horrible antacid, pokes of needles, fabulous wardrobe and all. Walking to the OR and laughing with the anesthesiologist that had been with me from the beginning was comforting and familiar as well. I was filled with such excitement and anticipation to meet our third baby, Noah, just as I had been with Aidan and Emma.

Emotionally however, this birth was much different. I knew, because we had made the decision for my tubes to be tied, that this precious boy was our last. I knew that my surgery would be longer than normal which meant too much time would pass before I could meet our new addition. Everything had been explained to me in the doctors office the week before. How the procedure would be done, the amount of time it would take, how it would change my recovery. Regardless of what I already knew, I couldn't contain the tears. Mostly tears of joy, but also tears of finality. Before proceeding, the doctor asked if I wanted to go ahead with the tubal ligation. With a split second thought of saying no, I swallowed the lump and said yes. Aside from the painful reminders, I didn't go back and think about our decision much after that. What was done was done and we were truly blessed.

Most of you know the story from this point. We had 39 wonderful days with Noah and then he went to be with the Lord. It didn't take long before we were not only grieving over the loss of our son, but also the decision we had made in the OR that early morning of December 26th. I know without a doubt that the Lord is capable of anything, however, it doesn't mean that our hearts were not terribly saddened by the obstacle we would now face if we wanted to have another child.

As time passed, Stephen and I knew we would love to be blessed with another child. We wished we hadn't opted for my tubal, but understood it was part of our journey. After MANY months of praying, researching, praying, and saving we felt the Lord guiding us in a very specific direction.

Last month, we flew to North Carolina where a well known specialist performed a surgery to repair my tubes. We were beside ourselves to learn that he was able to successfully repair one side! PRAISE! We flew home with an abundance of gratitude on our hearts and many new hopes and dreams for our family.

We praise God for blessing us with the ability to have this surgery and for the new joy that he has placed in our hearts. We are so thankful, that on this path of unknowns, he walks ahead, with and behind us. So, the Lord begins a new journey in us. We have no idea where it takes us or what His plans are, but Stephen and I trust His path and will choose to walk it.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11